


A Long, Long Time Ago

by AdoxographicRamblings



Series: American Pie !Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Backstory, Family, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 20:17:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2081733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdoxographicRamblings/pseuds/AdoxographicRamblings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a quite evening in the bunker Dean approaches Castiel with questions about his youth. Cas is at a loss of what to say, but attempts to answer Dean anyway. The answer gives a little incite to the inner workings of everybody's favorite angel as well as some backstory to Cas' beginnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Long, Long Time Ago

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first time I've ever attempted a fiction story that was more then a page long. I know its definitely a w.i.p, so please be gentle! Reviews and suggestions are greatly appreciated! Angel descriptions and names come from the general knowledge Catholic school and religion allowed me, as well as some Judaism and Islam. I know that it is cherubim and not seraphim that have the animal heads, but cannon lines in supernatural seem to blur the line between the two.

_I Can Still Remember How That Music Use To Make Me Smile_

 

“Hey Cas, Do you remember your childhood?”

 

Castiel looked up from the ancient tome he was currently scouring through. He had been sitting in Bunker, attempting to read about Fire Birds vs. Thunderbirds, when Dean had suddenly approached him with the odd question. Tilting his head to the side he considered the best answer. “I did not have a childhood, I was not “born” like you or Sam, God wished it and I simply…was.”

 

“Come on Cas” Dean replayed with a smile “No one likes a smart ass. I mean, do you at least remember your youth? Or whatever sort of thing you had” Dean hurried on noticing Castiel about to correct him, for he hadn’t had a so called youth either.

 

Castiel sat for a few more moments before asking “What brought on this question?” It wasn't like Dean to share, well anything really, and Castiel was somewhat hesitant to answer him without context. Castiel had assumed that sharing of personal moments and memories fell under one of Dean’s many rule of social interaction but then again Castiel was never sure about these things.

 

“I don’t know” Dean replied. “I was just talking to Sammy about some of our adventures as a kid, and the day he was born and stuff and I sorta wondered if you had any memories like that?” Dean slid down to sit on the arm of the loveseat Castiel was currently occupying, resting his beer on his thigh before continuing. “And I just felt like we haven’t hung out in a while. Sam seems to believe you’ll think I don’t want around if it keeps up.” Dean huffed a little. “But you know him. He’s always going on about “feelings.” Dean gave a mock shudder before turning to meet Castiel’s stare. “Oh come on Buddy, it’s a pretty simple question.” Dean said, before taking a sip off his beer.

 

Castiel thought he may be blushing a little but continued his cocked stare as he contemplated was to say. It was a little disconcerting that the younger Winchester seemed to understand Castiel so well, but he would be lying if he claimed not to appreciate Sam’s concern. Besides, it wasn't that he worried what Dean would think. Castiel knew that Dean was genuinely curious about him, and Castiel also knew he had shared very little of his life as an angel prior to his fateful plunge into the pit and subsequent saving of Dean’s soul. And, if he were being honest with himself, Castiel appreciated Dean’s attempt at a normal conversation with him. Sam had been right about Castiel growing concern over lack of familiar interactions.

 

 Castiel appreciated comradery between him and the Winchesters, especially Dean, but recently he’d felt more like a tool, a “hammer” as Dean put it, then a friend to the two boys. Instead of calming rides in the Impala, or lackadaisical conversations over beer Dean knew wouldn’t get him drunk, recently Dean would only call him down to use his “mojo” or ask a question before quickly dismissing the angel. And while Castiel was aware Dean had a lot on his mine, he had begun to grow a bit...lonely. While it wasn’t a new feeling by any means, ever since Castiel had really begun to spend his free moments with Dean and Sam, it wasn’t one he’d often had to suffer.

 

But in addition to Castiel’s confusion over the sudden conversation he was also stuck with another dilemma. It was just that, where would he even begin?

 

Castiel had been around since before the dawn of time. He came into being with all the knowledge of the life, of time and space, of God and all his creations. He simply burst into life with the awareness that he was Castiel, Shield of God, an angel of the Lord, created to sing God’s praises, and fight His battles. Castiel was created exactly the same as his hundreds of seraph brethren. Great and powerful were they, and each genderless entity exactly alike from the three secondary lion, ox, and eagle heads which sat circling each seraphs main, awesome face, to the six, towering wings of lightning and fire that were covered in hundreds of eyes and broke out behind their backs.

 

Perhaps he should tell Dean of those first moments, of, looking around at his fledgling brethren, of staring in awe at the seven archangels that had come to great the newly dubbed seraph. He remember then the big three stepping forward, Gabriel, the Messenger of God, Michael the Solider of God and Lucifer the Morningstar, God’s most beloved who shone brightest of all. He remembered them explaining to the Seraphs the purpose behind their recent creation. He hadn’t lied when he told Dean that Angels were soldiers of God, for they were. But in the beginning, back before the Morningstar’s fall, back before he twisted Lilith, newly banished from the garden and Adam’s heart, into the first demon, back before Angels and beast battled for souls, seraphs were created to sing.

 

A cough from Dean brought Castiel out of his musings. Closing the Tome which had done little to help him anyway, Castiel looked at Dean for a long moment before he spoke. “I was never a, child, as you have said. But I was considered a newer angel. When the seraph came to be, the seven archangels, had already existed for millennia. We seraph were really Father’s Prequel to you humans if I think about it.” Castiel mused. “But back in my…youth as you might put it, I wasn't the solider you know me to be. Back before Lucifer fell, all we seraphs did was sing.”

 

“Sing?” questioned Dean?

 

“Yes, we sang of God’s greats works, and celebrated His glory.” Castiel said with a small smile. “The ability to create song was the only bit of creative skill Father gifted us with. I do not mean to brag, but I was often told I had quite the beautiful voice.” The smile fell slightly as he added “It doesn’t translate very well in vessel form. Not that it matters anyway. By the time Man was banished from the garden, we seraph no longer sang, but instead took up arms against Lucifer’s twisted beings. ” Castiel continued to consider what he’d said before adding “But even so, I can still remember how much joy song brought. Perhaps it is in remembrance of those as you would say “better times” that I do so enjoy human music in all its many forms.”

 

Dean laughed at that, recalling Castiel peculiar favorite musical genres of rap and opera.

Facing towards Castiel, Dean grinned and said “So singing huh? I guess I can see it. What else to you remember?”

 

It was Castiel’s turn to smile. “I remember everything. We angels-”

 

“-Don’t forget things, I know Cas, you’re just a regular elephant.”

 

“I do not understand what you mean Dean, I am neither large enough to be an Elephant, nor do I have a trunk.”

 

Dean laughed again. Castiel liked Dean’s laugh, it was heartfelt and deep, and while he didn’t understand what he’d done to make Dean laugh, he was glad to have done it.

 

“Calm down Buddy, it’s an expression. Anyway, I mean like, what else do remember most about your early days. Did you get into any angelic hijinks with your choir bodies?” Dean prompted.

 

“Well, even then I guess I felt different from my brothers and sisters, and I spent much of the time I wasn’t signing alone, so my, uh, hijinks were kept at a minimum. Balthazar and I would often visit earth much to the agitation of my superiors though. ”

 

Dean cocked one eyebrow “Wait, hold up, so you’re saying you were a social outcast? Did Castiel, badass angel of the Lord, have an awkward teenage phase?! Oh please tell me there are photos. Did you were a lot of black? Way eyeliner involved? Dean jokingly mocked.

 

Castiel fixed Dean with a half felt glare before continuing. “I was not awkward Dean, it was just, I was just…different.” He finished lamely. “Most of the other seraph were indifferent to the creation of Earth and the newly forming organisms which Father created to live there. I supposed that the others thought He’d grow tired of it. They didn't see the point in trying to understand one of Fathers many experiments. But me? I was fascinated, absolutely enthralled with it all. I remember watching everything grow and evolve. It was beautiful. From the first microscopic organism, to the greatest land animals.” “The new and amazing works of God gave us much to sing about. I was more impressed with the creation of the first bacteria then I was with the creation of the stars and megaverse.”

 

Castiel looked up at Dean before continuing. “It put me somewhat at odds with the other angels. Well, besides Gabriel. He was the only one who seemed as interested as I was about Earth. I was serving Gabriel the day the first creature made it onto land.”

 

“You must understand,” Castiel implored when he noticed the slight scowl that marred Dean’s face at the mention of Gabriel, “It was quite an honor working under an Archangel, and while I know he put you and Sam through much, he wasn’t always like that.” Castiel made a strange face before admitting “Well that is to say he wasn’t always cruel. I won’t try to pretend he wasn’t always a bit of a wheeler dealer, but he was the only superior that would indulge my escapades. I still remember that day, I can see it so clearly even now, watching a little grey beast heaving its tiny body out of the water. I got so close that Gabriel had to warn me “don’t step on that fish Castiel, big plans for that fish.” I wish I could show you somehow, it was humanities first steps into greatness, that fish’s struggle. And even after these many years of life, it continues to be one of the greatest miracles to which I have ever bore witness.” Castiel said softly, “Perhaps that why I was so infatuated with humans. Us angels, we simply came to be, no work, no struggle. God simply decided we would be and so we were. But you, you humans worked and evolved and forced out of the water into the sun. Perhaps that why He loved you so much more than us. Because you had earned it where as we simply expected it.”

 

Castiel sighed a little before looking at Dean once more, “But then again, I might just be looking too far into my Fathers motivations. Balthazar used to say I could wax poetic over the sillies of topics.”

 

Dean frowned a little at this, “I don’t think you’re being silly Cas, I mean all this talk of evolution and stars is a little over my pay grade, but its uh, interesting too.” Dean looked at him seriously before adding “I haven’t heard you talk about something with this much passion in a long time. And I, uh, didn’t mean to make you mad about the whole, awkward comment, it’s a human thing I guess.” Dean finished sheepishly, bringing up a hand to scratch at the back of his head.

 

“I can’t imagine someone as charismatic as you could have had an awkward phase.” Castiel said with a frown.

 

Dean met Castiel’s comment with a strange look before bursting into laughter. “Ah Cas, man, you have no idea. I wasn’t always the lady killer I am today” Dean finished with a wink. The wink, as any wink Dean sent his way, made Castiel feel warm to the pit of his stomach for a reason he couldn’t quite comprehend. “Like I said, it must be a human thing”

 

Castiel wasn’t sure Dean was right about it being just a human thing. But he just didn’t know how to put into words that even back millennia ago, he had felt **doubt.** He hadn’t known what to call it back then. Angels were not born with emotions, not really, but even on that first day, looking up at those seven archangels, all Castiel had been able to think was “why?” Why was he created the way he was, why were they all the same, why should he sing the praise of a Father he had never, and would never meet? The young seraph had quickly realized such questioning would not do, and had casted such blasphemy aside focusing instead into become the unyielding force Dean had met in the barn centuries later. Yet, Castiel would always wondered if this, how had Dean put it, awkward phase, wasn’t a premonition of things to come. Castiel stood up to place the book back on the shelf before turning to look at his friend.

 

“No Dean, you may be right, I think it might be an angel thing too.”

l

The two friends were left to their respective thoughts before suddenly looked up, a bit worried and asked

 

“Wait, Wait, Wait, hold up, I just remember something” Dean stopped him. “There are seven archangels”

 

“Yes Dean, well I mean, there were. Have you never read the book of Tobit? Though to be fair, your prophets have claimed both Raphael and Anael as well as Uriel and myself to be archangels but you and I know that not to be true.” Castiel shuddered at the thought of Uriel with that much power where as Dean seemed surprised to hear Castiel’s own name mentioned on the list. But if he had any questions, he didn’t press Castiel for answers. “No, the seven who were ready to stand before God were Gabriel, Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Zadakiel, Raguel, and Oriphie.” Frowning slightly as the list of names Castiel continued “But the last three perished in the fight with Lucifer before Michel stepped in.”

 

Sensing that this wasn’t a topic Castiel was willing to face at the moment, Dean filed the information away for a later date and dropped it. Both angel and hunter were left with their thoughts before Dean turned back to his friend.

 

“Hey Cas?” Dean questioned quietly.

 

“Yes Dean?”

 

“Would you ever sing for me?”  

 

“I would not sound the same as my true voice. As I mentioned, it doesn’t translate well into a vessel as we get the vessels vocal chords in place of our own. I will be forever grateful to Jimmy for what he had done, and for what he has given me,” Cas said, “But Jimmy Novak was no nightingale.”

 

Realizing Castiel wasn’t trying to be funny, Dean chuckled at Castiel’s deadpan tone. “Aw Cas come on, I mean, I’m no American Idol either, but if it was something that use to make you smile, bring you joy, you should embrace it.!” He exclaimed enthusiastically. “You could do to smile more.”

 

“Perhaps you are right Dean, though I doubt your ears would appreciate it.” Castiel finished wryly.

 

Dean seemed to be thinking over something before shooting up out of his place on chair arm. Grabbing his coat off of the Table he walked back over to Castiel and asked “Hey are you busy tonight or do you have some time to hang out?”

 

“I am not currently occupied, and I always have time for you Dean.”

 

The last comment seemed to throw Dean for a loop but he quickly removed and fixed Castel with a wolfish grin. Grabbing the angels arm and leading him out of the sitting room towards the Bunkers exit he continued,

 

“Well Cas, my dear amigo, it is high time I introduced you to the ancient Japanese art of Karaoke.”

 

He smiled at Cas’ confused looks and as they headed towards the Impala, the bunker door shutting soundly behind them.


End file.
